Soon enough the title of this blog will need to be changed to turn 50. Time brings a lot of change. Quite a few have told me such. I have done things that I have never or do not like doing. A dear friend whom I always considered as an equivalent was assumed to be either my son or son-in-law. My appearance have changed, my outlook and my behavior have changed though some more subtle than others.
I am now more expressive of my feelings, needing more attention and reassurance to the point that my dear wife is overwhelmed, I think. Yet she continues humoring my whims and fancies. At the same time, old and new characters coming within the circle continues to pull me in various directions. I begin to understand that passion, love, longing and all matters of the heart tend to multiply if added. There are no subtraction nor division. It seems to just grow, however, juggling is another matter. A skill that requires development to a fine art.
Physically, I am more active and need to be constantly on the move. Be it cycling, swimming or running. A few days of sedentary inactivity will lead to lethargic and mood swings. It feels great when I stay in the lead to those half my age, but then my motivation was something that they did not have. They were moving on youth and energy, I was moving on something else.
All said and done, statistically I have about 17 years left. I intend to give all that I could, because only so much that I could take with me when I leave. To those around me, to those who knew me and could accept me as I am. Use these remaining years that you have with me. I was given 13 years with my dear father-in-law. A man that I miss. Now its my turn to give, unless if I go earlier.... I say this because I love all of you, something that in me is intense and passionate that sometimes it hurts.
And that's me, getting seasick on a recent diving expedition. The first time I posted a picture of myself in this blog. I used to hate looking at pictures of myself, not anymore... Another change ?