Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
His aim was to make millions, he enjoys looking at the many zero's in his bank statement. When I ask him why, he said that its important to have funds available for important things that might crop up. Hmmm, true, but then again how we define important things is relative. He led a frugal life, happy in his own scroogian ways. Till today, he has yet to spend his millions on "important things".
I on the other hand always seems to find "important things" to spend on. Things like this notebook that I am creating this post with. It is important for me to have things that make my life easier and more enjoyable. If its a notebook, it has to be light so its easy to carry around, fast and functional, which will obviously cost a lot more than your regular PC which could also be used to produce a post such as this.
Money, after all is meant to be used to make things easier for us. Not to be hoarded and admired. Unless of course if you can say; eat it per se. You know, some ketchup on a fifty note to add taste... No you had to use it to perhaps get a plate of mash and bangers, which can then satisfy your hunger. Certainly not merely looking at the money.
We live a short life after all. God forbid, the millions you left behind after you die became the source of contentions among those you left behind.
Then again, maybe I am just a wee bit jealous at his still many zero's....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
We had singers with golden voices and natural born comedians. Mix that with camaraderie and unpretentious kinship, it made for a blast of a time for everyone.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
By the time we got back it was almost 2am. The gate was closed, even with the bright beam of the xenon headlights no one appears to open the gate. Damn, "makan gaji buta..." A toot of the horn brought not the guards, instead another colleague appear from the guard house. He opened the gate and we cruised in.
Get the roof up, cut the engine and walk slowly to the main door. Just as I reached for the door knob, the two guards appear. They look shaken and the Indian guy start muttering in Tamil to our Administrator. It turns out that just before we arrived, the guards saw something that looks like a lady dragging a long white cloth. They followed it right up to the door before it disappears.
This, after our colleague left his room to sleep in the guard house. Why ? He keep hearing someone or something calling out to him whenever he is in his room.
That night the three of us ended up moving beds, mattresses and pillows to spend the night like refugees in one single room. Forgoing privacy and privileges, succumbing to fear. Letting our base instinct pacify itself with the perceived security offered by the proximity of another human being. But...As I lay myself to sleep, I can't help but wonder, is it really my two other friends that is sleeping in the room ? Is it really them or what appears to be them. I do not dare ask, nor do I sleep as I lay waiting for the morning sun to burn away the fear and uncertainty.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
He poured his soul into his work. 24 hours a day. Only taking short breaks during weekends to see the kids, if they were on the same continent, that is. Otherwise, his weekend will be spent lazing around and working on his art. He has just discovered painting and found it to be soothing as he immerses himself in the colours and textures on the canvas. He lets himself go when he paints. Some were bold strokes and colours while some were muted monochrome and sepia. Once completed, left to dry then stacked in one of the rooms. This is his new world as he continue to heal from the pain. And the memory of that pain was revisited by a phone call.
It happened while he was on the way to a meeting. His mind pre-occupied with it. His agenda, the negotiations, the opponents, the back up plan and some such. When his phone rings, he just picked it up thinking that it may be his secretary making sure, as usual, that he is indeed going to the meeting - not that he ever forgets - she's just doing her job, annoyingly, Jim thought. But the voice at the other end is different and it spoke of pleasantries not formality. It took a second or so for Jim to be pulled back to the conversation at hand.
It was an old friend, used to be anyway. It was a friend whom he had helped get back on his feet when he was down and out. Someone whom he put his reputation on the line for. Yet, for some reason or other, once this friend got his groove back, Jim was dropped like a hot stone. No explanation, no nothing, just drifted off. Last Jim heard was that this friend does not like the way Jim was treating another common friend. Yeah right, some excuse. What hurts most for Jim was the fact that he lost a friend whom he had taken in as one of his own. He was angry at himself for being too trusting, for thinking that others would treat him like he would treat them. What a fool. No more. Thinking back, Jim realised that perhaps there was an element of jealousy and business rivalry that brought on the rift. The past is gone.
The phone call seems a bit too suspicious for Jim. No apologies, no nothing, just an out of the blue invitation to dinner. After years has gone by, numerous mobile number changes, a call for dinner ? Nah, even the memory is still painful so when the sms with address arrived, Jim replied in the negative. Inwardly, he thought, you got out of my circle by your own choice, getting back in is not as simple as that, if ever...
What exactly does this person want ? Jim just couldn't figure it out yet he was sure there is an ulterior motif to that invitation. How did he get his number ? As he recall, his distribution was limited when he changed his number. Have they been monitoring him all this while. If so, would not a friend have come forward when he was in the midst of the divorce. Why wait until now ? So many question, so many assumptions. The circumstances seems too suspicious and insincere. Worst of all, Jim takes this as an invasion which he did not take kindly to. If only, the call would have come with an explanation and a sincerity that he could accept.
That evening, his painting was made up of bold strokes of red slashes over blue and green blotches. Mesmerising mix of textures and colours filled with anger.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sometimes in the darkest hour we forget the simple things that surround us. We overlook the little details that may bring relief and joy even for a fleeting moment. Focus on the dark and be blinded or seek the specks of light that bring hope. Hope, after all is one thing that all of us have a lot of.
Currently at least two of my close friends is in the midst of preparing to go for Hajj. The annual pilgrimage has begun. Getting news of their pending departure struck a chord in me. A tinge of jealousy perhaps because its not me that is going. The Hajj, the fifth pillar of Islam. I just want to get it done yet have not. Why ? I am the type who likes to get things done and over with. Like paying the bills once it arrived - unlike my other half - well that's a contentious story by itself. So, 5 pillars, 4 done, 1 left. To appease my mind, I have been to Mecca 3 times. For Umrah, the voluntary (is this the right term for sunat ?) not mandatory visit.
Since the first Umrah I kept telling myself that I will come for the Hajj, yet god in his ways invited me back for the 2nd and 3rd Umrah. So, for now, hope and wait. Inshaallah. To those going - lambailah kami yang tinggal ni.
A parcel arrived yesterday. It contains a book, a tangible output from 2007. Details and short review here.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I am certain quite a few will be put off by this post. Apologies, am just continuing the seemingly morbid ideas that goes through my head in recent times. The sequence of pictures seems to dictate a path soon to be trodden. The discarded coffin, the plots reserved for adults and the innocent exit sign losing innocence due to its placement.
Anyway, I am winding down a special day - according to my kids - my birthday. I don't subscribe to celebrating it as to me its just a passing of time which coincided with the day I was brought into this world. Got quite a few things done today. Highlight of which is my first ever organic lunch courtesy of Den. Was quite good and should have a camera with me. A tad more pricey but worth it. Never imagined that brown rice served with veggies could taste so refreshing and good.
To those who sent their best wishes, by mail (mainly the banks and businesses...) and sms, thank you. To those who forgot, no worries, I prefer not to be reminded that I am getting ever closer to my exit point. To the few friends whose birthday falls within a few days of mine, may your coming years be a thousand times better, healthier and happier. Happy Birthday ;)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Accompanied by cold drinks, hot drinks and ENO for my dear bloated friend who has to fly off to another engagement tonight. Then Anuar came and the story revolves around his hobby - radio controlled helicopters. It was interesting but expensive. Then again, I presume not as expensive as keeping a mistress, ahem...
The ground briefing to a very attentive audience followed by...