Monday, May 28, 2007

Parting Ways

The decision finally manifested itself like the last nail being hammered into a sealed coffin. And like a sealed coffin, the next step is inevitable. For Jim, there's no other way but to end what he has been trying to build during the best years of his life. No other option exists but to part ways. As Jim ponders the necessary to formalise the separation, he can't help but recall how it had began and how the end is now coming for this union.

They had embarked on the union with common ideals and objectives. It was exciting going through the ups and downs of realising their vows. They worked hard, much harder after the arrival of the kids. A decade down the line, the ideals began to crack. Their choices began to differ. Their objectives does not match anymore. Where had he gone wrong ? Where had they gone wrong ? This question begs to be answered and in answering Jim realised that no wrong has been done. Only that they both had changed. Changed by the passage of time. Altering their values and needs. Each became a different person in the others eyes, maybe because each does not conform to the others expectations after all these years.

The one thing that they both agreed on is that the kids should be well taken care of. Jim realised that no matter how well they plan, the separation will have a negative impact on the kids. He also realised that he is beyond the point of return and that is just something that he is powerless to prevent. At first he thought that perhaps he could continue with the charade for the sake of the kids, but it doesn't work. The negativity and lack of warmth is not lost on the kids. The elder even starts to blame themselves for the situation. That is what finally drove Jim to come out and make the move towards separation.

It is sad, yet the prospect of escaping the suffocation provides some comfort to Jim. He imagined going through the coming days on his own. That is the price that he has to pay. He just could not understand why life has been so unfair to him. Why does this happen ? There are no third person involved for either of them, no drunken bouts, no late night outings, no abusive violence and money has always been in abundance. Theirs were a civilised union, yet, it came to an end when it should be at the peak.

Jim just sat there staring at the papers with teardrops slowly making its way down his cheeks. There are just so many consequences, so many causes, so may thoughts and hurts and pains that invaded his mind and he is powerless. All the years, the efforts, the joy and the sorrow, all of them will be relegated to a deep dark place in his psyche. And the kids, the kids will be hurt too.

With that thought, Jim raised his pen and in one swift movement put his mark on the papers to initiate the inevitable. He just hoped and prayed that somehow the kids will be alright.

Strumming away...

The "heart-breaker"...

... and Dad...

... with "An Englishman in New York" jamming...

... and making music.

A 180 degree turn from the previous colourful post. This one is in monochrome. I love monochromes as sometimes I feel that they convey the mood better and make you focus more by avoiding the distractions of the gamut of colours. Can you feel the relaxed, easy atmosphere, the joy and concentration of the music makers ?

Friday, May 25, 2007

Retreat - Is.

Some interesting people pictures by a dear friend on his recent retreat. All captured using an ancient Canon G2 (current model G7). Just goes to show, sometimes the talent is more important than the tool. You know, its not the size..... but how you use it. Kah kah kah, lets see what the ladies... never mind.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

MyStream 05/2007

The line of cars that brought us together, though of late its not so much the cars but the company that became the thread that joins us.

The boys that came that night. Sorry guys, I am really bad with names. Instead of getting yours wrong, I will forgo mentioning it, as Jag keeps slipping in his intro: I am Rus... errr Jag.

Full line up, moi included. Notice that building on the hill at the top right corner ? Looks spooky doesn't it ?

The anchor of MyStream, Den and Rus...errr Jag. Guess what grabs their attention and brought smiles to their faces.

Secret negotiations between Mie and our youngest member, Steven the student. Good luck with your exams Steve.

This has got to be the highlight of the night, Jag getting the guys to do some line dancing with Den and Lan acting as the critic... Kah kah kah.

Nik ?

Overload ?

Lets do this again soon.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Gifts from Bunga Bindang

I was the Acting Third Officer on Bunga Bindang. There was such a thing as Acting Officers back then. This happens to cadets with more than a years sea time with recommendations from his Captains and Officers. Its a win win situation, the cadet got the experience of doing a real navigating officers job with an increase in his allowance and the company get an officer to helm its ship at a much cheaper cost. Acting Officers earn much less than a real Officer on board. With the advent of the STCW, ISM and the plethora of rules and regulations this is no longer possible. No such thing as acting officers or engineers any more. Now, the stack of certificates is mandatory.

Bunga Bindang is a small coastal ship with two Mac Gregor hatches equipped with its own derricks and a jumbo derrick amidships. It does the Penang, Port Klang, Singapore, Sandakan, Tawau and Lahat Datu route. A complete round turn will take about a month. This was my third and final ship before I go back to the academy for my Third and Second Mates courses, examinations and of course certificates to legitimise my "Acting" title.

On that particular night, we had just left Sandakan where for some reason or other, the Agent there took us for seafood dinner at a quaint restaurant on a cliff overlooking the sea. The food was fantastic and we gorged ourselves on prawns, squids, fishes and crabs. By the time we got back to the ship, its was time to cast away. Since I was on the 12 to 4 watch, sated with good food and tired from the days work, I fell fast asleep. I was woken by the ringing phone at a quarter to midnight for my watch. This was accompanied by a throbbing sensation on my right big toe which I ignored as I rushed to the bridge to take my duty.

As the watch goes on the throbbing pain became more intense. I thought I was bitten by an insect, a scorpion or god forbid a snake. These are some of the stowaways that we sometimes get. They hitched the ride with our cargo. The crates and cargo debris in the hold provided the ideal place for them to cross the oceans with us. I asked my Able Bodied Seamen (AB) to get a torchlight and give my toe and feet a thorough look over for any bite marks but found none. We then moved on to the theory that I might have somehow sprained my toe earlier in the day and perhaps some massage with ointment will be the cure. It just so happens that his relief, an Ordinary Seaman (OS) who have just joined us is known to poses such skills and item.

The OS is a "gerago", a guy of Portuguese descent from Malacca. Tony was his name if I am not mistaken. A man of about thirty, used to be a cook but decided to sail and has just recently taken up massage and foot reflexology. After handing over my watch to the Chief Officer, I asked to hijack Tony to see if he could help with my toe. Tony tried his best technique to manipulate and lessen the pain but the opposite happens. It was excruciating even though he insisted that the pressure applied was very low. After about twenty minutes, he concluded that a few sessions would be required. I concurred as it was the only option available aside from taking pain killers.

By the third session the next day, we had to stop as it has not just increase in pain but has also developed a sort of blue black tones on the toes and its vicinity. I had to use crutches and the Captain allowed me to sit in the pilot chair instead of standing for four hours. Back then, sitting during watch is taboo, mainly to avoid you getting too comfortable that you may fall asleep.

Once we reached Singapore a few days later, upon port clearance, I was rushed to a clinic. The doctor stopped me in mid sentence as I recounted my predicament. Definitely not stings, bites or sprain. You got gout, he says. Huh ? Urine was sampled and the test confirms that I have got gout. He counseled me and explained what it is. Basically a malfunction in my system which causes it unable to process and get rid of uric acid which is a by product of proteins that I consume. This excess acid will somehow collect in my toe where it forms tiny crystals. That is why at the peak it feels as if there's a thousand needles in there and a mere blow from an aircon vent is enough to make me scream in pain. The worst part was that there's no cure. I had to take daily medication and control my food. A long list of items to avoid was provided. Perhaps seeing the look of horror on my face, the doctor tells me that its just a guide. Whatever it is, take it in moderation.

I have tried alternate medication. From celery seeds to black cherries to vile herbal concoctions. It seem to work for a while, now I just take the zyloric. This accompanied with getting real sweat three times a week have ward away gout attacks for almost a decade. I do this as I do not control my food intake. In defence, life is short and I certainly can't survive on boiled veggies alone.

None in my family had gout, so it is not hereditary.The theory is that once I became a sailor, my diet changed drastically. Meat and chicken almost daily instead of fish. More rich foods instead of simple village greens. Eggs, sausages and beans for breakfast instead of leftover rice and salted fish. My system had a shock and was unable to respond to the change in time, the last straw provided by the Sandakan seafood. So, apart from allowing me to be an actor in my profession, Bunga Bindang gave me gout to mark my transition from a cadet to an officer.

This of course is not the end of it as gout leads to kidney stones which led to me being stark naked in broad daylight in front of a shocked Chinese lady.... but that's a story for another post.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Adik beradik ?

Picture courtesy of Sam our ad-hoc office photog.

I like to take photos but don't like to be photographed. Never quite got the hang of looking at myself. Its just one of my phobias I suppose. But this photo seems acceptable perhaps because of the company that's in it. Also perhaps because of the caption that came with it - macam adik beradiklah pulakkkk (like sibling ?).

Now tell me, which is the abang (elder) and which is the adik (younger)... he he he.

From the :

I did some research and to the best of my knowledge, there isn’t even a phobia name for such a thing. Odd, considering there’s a phobia name for the abnormal fear of pretty much everything. For example, consider “Levophobia.” This is the fear of things to the left side of the body. Or “Euphobia,” the fear of good news. There are even two phobia names for the fear of empty rooms, “Cenophobia” or “Centophobia.” Yet nothing for the fear of being photographed.

Très strange, if you ask me.

Unless someone comes up with an actual name for it, I’d like to officially coin the fear of being photographed, “Photographobia.”

Missing Madeleine

david santos said...
Please, it puts fhoto of Madeleine in your Bloggue Missing Madeleine!Madeleine, MeCann was abduted from Praia da Luz, Portugal on 03/03/07. If you have any information, please contact Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 (this is their local crime stopper number I think - just get in touch with David at

Please Help

My heart goes out to those in similar predicament as I have gone through this. I lost my son in Masjidil Haram, alhamdulillah found him a few minutes later. But those few minutes were the most painful minutes of my life. When the realisation sets that I lost him, an emptiness sets in. It felt as if my whole innards, not just my heart was wrenched out in one swift movement. That incident taught both of us, my son and me, a valuable lesson.

For him, always tell daddy where he's going and always keep an eye on where daddy is and most of all listen to and follows daddy's instructions. For me, it was to reinforced the notion that everything in this world is only on loan to us and can be taken and given back as He pleases, and that I am powerless even over my son. No matter how much you love or think you own something, it is not yours. Even your life is on loan and can be requisitioned at any time without prior notice.

All said and done, even though he abides by the lesson learned, my son still blames me for wearing a white djellaba and sitting in a different section of the mosque on that fateful day...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Trust ?

Dev is a typical nerdy mama’s boy. A chubby man with rosy cheeks, medium built with all the common characteristic of an Englishman approaching middle age. He is an Electrical Engineer on board our ship and is very excited as we approached port for he is going to be signed off. It was not so much the signing off that put him in that state but the prospect of what he is going to do once he reaches his home. His excitement had a twofold effect on us, one of elation as his joy was so intense that it rubbed onto us, second of envy as we were staying behind and he is going home.

Once he got home, Dev is going to get married. Compiling the conversations that we had, Dev never had a steady girl friend of more than a shore leaves worth. Whatever girl he met and tried to build a relationship with only lasted for as long as he was on leave. Once his leave ends and he goes back on board the relationship will inadvertently ends. Either the girl has met someone else or the more common excuse, her family and friends advised her not to pursue the relationship as Dev is always away at sea and to lessen the blow these news always ended up with - lets remain friends.

This time it’s going to be different as Dev started this relationship while he was still on board. It was a girl his mother had selected for him to befriend. Their communications through letters and telephone calls was so promising that they had agreed to venture forth into marriage the moment Dev reaches home. According to Dev, the girl had taken to sleeping over at his house to keep her mother company and that both of them had gotten on well, which just sweetens the deal.

We wished him luck.

A year and a half later, I met Dev again on another ship. He is still the Electrical Engineer and he has been on board for more than 4 months, which is the usual contract term for an LNG ship. He didn’t mind serving beyond the term which is a bit puzzling as all of us would rather serve below not beyond any contract term. It was then that I got to know that his marriage is nothing but a bad memory that he wants to forget. It transpired that everything went well until he returned home from the previous ship that he was on.

His wife had left him taking with her all the contents of their flat and wiping his accounts clean. He regretted this the most, as immediately after marriage he transferred the control of his accounts from his mother to his wife. Back then he thought he was doing the right thing, removing the burden of monitoring and paying his bills from his mother at the same time proving to his wife that he loved and trusted her enough to give her total control of his finances.

Some of us saluted him for loving and trusting someone enough to do such thing while some thought he was being stupid and just asked for trouble.

His predicament made us ponder our own relationships, how far should we trust a person, be it our spouse, partner or best friend. Do we dare take the risk ? Should we take the risk ?

But then a wise voice quipped, if you can’t trust your wife whom you promised to share life and death with, who else can you trust ? And if it turns out that she does a "Dev" on you, then it’s just your bad karma. Perhaps he is right for otherwise you will have to keep doubting which will not lead to a healthy nor happy union.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Vista Test 3.

Testing blogging in Vista without BitDefender firewall.

OK manage to post but typing is laggy. Lets see if this held out. Err, MS (the photo) has nothing to do with this issue. Its just that his photo resides in my PC.

If this test works then it confirms that BitDefender firewall, or for that matter any firewalls other than Windows own will screw up your surfing experience.

After disabling BitDefender firewall, am able to blog but as mentioned earlier, typing is a chore. The machine seems unable to follow i.e. the words took a few seconds to appear with some letters missing at random. Tried to use FireFox instead but unable to load. So, still not as smooth as XP.

Jangan pandang belakang...

Could not resist. Picture credit goes to

IE7 failed again - unable to connect. Now trying Firefox which has to be uninstalled, shut down, restart and reinstalled. Appears to work this time. Typing in FireFox is a bit better than IE7 but not as smooth as in XP. Now lets see if this holds up.

I also learned that Vista Business can be downgraded to XP Pro but will involve a lot of hassle to reactivate by phone etc. Am tempted but does not have the time to do that yet.


Am really getting tired of this Vista business. It slows down a PC which would otherwise be flying if it was with XP. A task like blogging is dodgy. Typing in scripted windows is laggy. Even starting MS Office is nerve wrecking as the "program not responding" appears - leave it alone and it will start a few minutes later. I fail to see any positive point other than its cosmetic presentation. I have contacted Sony asking if it can be downgraded to XP pro and if all the drivers will be available. I expect the answer to be no. My advice for now is DO NOT get vista. If you absolutely must get a new PC make sure it is XP based. Unless if you enjoy tweaking buggy OS (I don't - I thought it was already stable), wait a few years for it to truly be usable.


Thank for your email to Sony Malaysia.

Regarding your inquiry, please be informed that Sony does not have any XP driver for this model and we does not support or give any guarantee for operating system other than the pre-installed one. For this reason, Sony does not recommend the use of other OS on VAIO and Sony does not guarantee that applications (bundled with the original operating system) are compatible with other operating system. Sony only provides support for VAIO computers using the default operating system as shipped from the factory. We are sorry that we are unable to assist you on this matter.

For any further assistance you may require, please do not hesitate to contact Sony Customer Contact Centre at 1-300-88-1233, or revert to us via e-mail.

Sighhhh, stuck with Vista and hopes that MS sorts out all these bugs soon.


Put IE7 in program exceptions for windows firewall. typing becomes better, as it should be, no more laggy. Post new pictures... Spell check OK.


I think its finally sorted. The solution was to make an exception for IE7 in Windows Firewall list. Since I manage to post the MyStream pictures and text, spell check and editing it appears to be as stable as on XP. So, JT, you may go and get that new notebook now. I recommend the Sony Vaio SZ 48 GN with dual core processor and the whole works. Just upgrade the ram to 2GB....

Friday, May 11, 2007

ALADDIN – Chinese Muslim Restaurant

We went to Aladdin, a new Chinese Muslim Restaurant in Glomac Square, Kelana Jaya which I think was designed to be the next Bangsar, Glomac Square that is, and Aladdin is one of the restaurant there. It's a nice restaurant with leather chairs and marble top tables, very nice flooring and great ambiance in a non pretentious, family oriented way.

The menu is quite hefty, hard bound with leaves as thick and colourful as a magazine. We were spoilt for choice, the waitress suggested the set menu but seeing that there are only four adults, a teenager and a toddler, it may be a bit much. We ended up ordering individual dishes.

Ayah had Hokkien style ramen. He gave his approval and upon tasting it, I agree. Delicious and totally unlike your common mee hailam.

My wife shared the fried seafood ramen with Amani. Scrumptious. The next time we eat here, I am having this.

Their iced jasmine tea, in this case apple flavoured came in jars. Aiman says its good, mummy nod in agreement as she had the strawberry iced jasmine tea.

I also ordered the broccoli mushroom in oyster sauce, good not great.

Mummy had kung bo chicken with rice. She likes it, though unable to finish it off as the portion is quite big.

Aiman had the sour and spicy chicken rice set. Equally good.

Rice sets came with a bowl of tasty soup.

I had the salted fish and chicken fried rice, not bad but it does not beat my all time favourite salted fish fried rice from Cozy Corner, Ampang Park.

The nicest touch is that Amani got her own set of brightly coloured plastic plates and utensils which she enjoyed as much as the food.

The service is good and the waitress knowledgeable. At the end of the meal we were pleasantly surprised when they set a plate full of yellow melon. Complimentary. The bill came to $89.00 which I think is money worth spending for what we had. The most expensive item we had was the broccoli mushroom in oyster sauce at $13.90. The rice sets are only $7.90 each while the noodles cost $10.50 each. Drinks are equally reasonable, iced jasmine tea at $3.80, coffee at $2.00, iced lemon tea at $3.00 and warm water at $0.80. Amani had the most expensive drink, ice blended blueberry puree at $6.90.

We get another pleasant surprise upon paying the bill as we were presented with a $20.00 voucher, a small ornamental hexagonal plaque with Chinese knots, nicely packed tissue and some brochures. These guys sure know how to attract and try their best to maintain customers.

Nice ambiance, good food, efficient service, reasonable prices, highly recommended.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Suicidal Tendencies

It was a bleak English winter evening. Dark, gloomy, cold and wet with certain heaviness in the air adding to the foreboding atmosphere as I walked out of the business school. Hungry and exhausted from the efforts of completing the group assignment, the blast of cold air cleared my over taxed grey matter as I contemplated my route home and ponders the great dilemma of what my dinner is going to be tonight. Maybe I'll stop by the Paki grocer; get some prata which will go well with that last packet of Brahim's instant beef rendang. Some fresh fruits will be good too. If that's the plan then I have to take the route through Bute Park but in this kind of weather and time of day, it is not something that I would relish doing. Well, just go through town and get some kebab or fries with curry then. Would love the barbecued lamb from Chicken Cottage, but had that yesterday, so that choice is out.

As I was immersed in my dilemma, my shoulder was tapped. It was Zam. Your typical perfect guy with wealth, looks and brains to boot. He is pursuing his doctorate. Sponsored by FaMa – father and mother. He declined scholarship as he does not like the idea of being bonded to any particular body or company.

Zam: Going home ?

Me: Yes, am just deciding if I should risk walking through the park to get to the Paki Store.

Zam: Great, I'll walk with you. I need to get some cabai burung.

As we entered the park, the atmosphere seems to get more depressing. The mist starts coming in and the trees bald of foliage looks as if it is in mourning. I am still undecided between the prata with chicken curry or perhaps do a masak lemak cili api. Zam's mention of the cabai burung bred this idea. There's chicken in the freezer and the rest of the ingredients in the larder. But then it will be at least another hour before I can eat. Decisions, decisions.

Zam: I need to tell you something, but please keep it to yourself.

Me: Huh, sure.(Still absorbed in what to eat).

Zam: I almost killed myself last week.

Me: What ? Whatever for ? Money is not a problem (god knows that is definitely my issue), your study is going great, your wife and kids come over every few months. What's wrong ?

Zam: That's what you see. Hmmm, I don't know, it's just that I feel the whole world is crashing around me. All these thoughts keep invading my mind. I can't sleep and think. It was such pain that I need escape from.

Me: So ?

Zam: I've made all the arrangements, even leaving instructions for you to take my remains home. You know, my stuff and of course my body. I would like to be buried where my kids can visit me.

Me: Whoa, now you're scaring me. (I was, what with the dark gloomy day and all).

Zam: I have everything figured out, from the kid's education down to the house and car settlement. The thing that stopped me was the thought of my kids without a father. I just can't bear the thought of them without a father. So, I sacrificed my freedom for my kids.

Me: Why are you telling me all this ?

Zam: I just need to offload, you are a good listener, keep to yourself and the fact that if I actually got through with it, you were the one who will have to sort the final bits for me.

We walked in silence all the way to the Paki grocer. I don't know what to say or make of this conversation. How can someone who seemed so perfect, who seem to have everything, harbour such thoughts ?

When we arrived at the Paki, Zam picked up his cabai burung while I, still undecided bought some sausages, beans and mangoes instead of what I had been thinking of earlier.

This post is inspired by Pi Bani's Mr. X who wanted to commit suicide after doing some foolish things. Go over to her site for the story.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Penang Mari.

We went to Penang Mari (Came from Penang) recently, really, that is the name of the eating place in Taman Tun. The drinks are still OK, the prices are still as expensive (oooo Taman Tun, elite area, aaaa), sadly the food leaves a lot to be desired. This used to be our favourite place for bee hoon soup, fried kuehtiaw (is that the right spelling ?), fried rice etc.

Sighhhh, I presume the old cook either had run away or been absconded by some other restaurant cause I hear Jasima in the same vicinity had better food nowadays. Will eat there next time then.

Pattaya fried rice. Basically fried rice in a parcel made up by wrapping it in a thin omelette.

Watermelon juice.

Penang prawn mee. Err, the prawns smell a bit old. For the first time in a long while, I was unable to finish my meal.

Carrot juice with milk.

Mamak fried mee though I am sure the cook banging at the wok producing this is an Indonesian with nary a trace of Indian or Mamak lineage in him.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Waiting and Deciding.

One of my biggest peeves, waiting. Made worse by the fact that in some situations, you don't even know what you are waiting for. You do have a rough idea like in the case of the taxi driver, but will the wait be worth it or will it be a terrible passenger...

Sometimes, you do not want to wait but events leads you to consciously decide to wait for some other event that may lead to change which you hope will be better.

Sorry, just rambling. The path is in sight, do I wait or go ahead ?

From Auntie Kodok and BlogThings. Interesting !!!

You Were a Fox

A good observer, you often watch others while remaining unseen.
Cunning and courageous, you also have a gentle side.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Victims of Good Intentions

Sim being the second youngest in the family led a pampered and protected life. Her chores were the easiest and she always gets the best bits of food and clothing. Though she does not realise it, her every move and all the joy and pain that she felt is reflected deeply in her parents. She will never know this as the Malay society of the time dictates that the gap between parent and child will keep such deep feelings hidden. Her parents concerns thus translated to Sim as suffocating and undue controlling which causes her to rebel and seek any opportunities to reaffirm her freedom and independence. The Malay Peninsula after all has just gained independence. Why shouldn't she ?

She just loves going to those free propaganda movies screened in the middle of the village field or dancing away at weddings to simple folk music. The kind provided by an accordion, traditional drums and gongs. Cak Kun Cak, they call it. She enjoyed herself tremendously at these events. If her father forbids it, the more she will want to go. She will rope in her sisters or her friends and climb out the windows after pretending that she is turning in early. And that was the extent of her crime, nothing more. No drugs, no alcohol and definitely no sex.

As she blooms into womanhood, the tide changes for she is unlucky in love. Though the other parts of her existence is always of no bother or concern to her, in matters of the hearts she began to know what pain and deprivation is all about. Her first love was taken by her best friend. It took more than two decades for her to come to terms with this and resume her friendship. Then she fell for a cousin, of course the whole clan is against this. It is not acceptable at all for first cousins to be betrothed. Again she is heartbroken.

All this pain that she is going through is not lost on her parents. It was so intense on them that they decided that enough is enough, they decided to take control. They do not want Sim to feel pain again. Thus they selected among her brother's friend a man whom they judge as hard working, pious and able to provide for Sim. Sim objected, she is not ready to be married off to someone she hardly knows and that she is not yet ready to forgo her freedom. Her sisters convinced her that what their parents did was perhaps for the best and it was also her luck that her future husband is such a quiet and undemanding man. The pressure was so great that she finally relented and consoled herself that this could be a way for her to escape from her luckless and painful love life.

Things went well at first. As in any arranged marriage, they had fun discovering each other. Sadly as the monotony of married life sets in, Sim felt short changed. Her husband is a hardworking man of few words. So hardworking in fact, that they never seem to do what other young families do. Family trips were too few and far in between as her husband are working hard to reach his objective of providing a better house and car for his young family. Sim released her frustration by doing the only thing she knows. She became verbally abusive and a constant nagger. She never neglects her wifely duties though. The house is clean, food is always on the table and the bed is made. Being a man of few words and more involved in his work than in his family, her husband endured Sim's behaviour and worked even harder. This goes on until their daughter reaches adulthood.

It was at this point perhaps that her husband also reaches his tolerance point as far as Sim's behaviour is concerned. He starts to drift away. He starts not coming home for a few nights on the pretext of working out of state. But he still provides for the family, materially at least. At first everyone thought that he is keeping another woman or having an affair. Investigations and fact finding missions turn up nothing. He is in fact working. Sim laments the fact that her husband is a good for nothing man who only cares for money and make it a point to voice this out at every opportunity. Her husband on the other hand has had enough of her nagging and just ignored her verbal assault. Now they just go through the rhythm of life as it occurs. Sharing a roof but not exactly a life. Each resigned to their fate, each secretly blaming the other for their predicament.

What started out as good intentions turn two people into victims with no way out in sight. So, the next time you think you are doing well for others by deciding their fate, think again. We live by the choices we make and their consequences, let the individual make their own choice. Give advice if you have to but never, ever make the choices for them.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Dusk at Glomac Square.

My favourite time of day. The transition of light to dark when the nether beings roam free. Colours become saturated and forms take on new shape and hue.