Pleasant amazament...

An amazing thing happened this morning. I was kissed. By an elder in my mosque. For no apparent reason. The sort of kiss that I receive only from my mom. What's amazing is that it was totally unexpected yet left a pleasant feeling just like mom's.

The thing is we hardly knew each other. My attendance at the mosque is sporadic at best and almost always only for the early morning prayers. As far as I can recall, he is the only one who, as he walks in will stop and shake hands with those in his path. I will be the last as I normally pick a place near an entrance. He will shake my hands, we smile at each other and take our places. Once prayers done I have to immediately leave, so there never was an opportunity to socialise.

Outside of the mosque, I talked to him once because he wanted to know about some shipping matters. Otherwise it was just a wave and smile acquaintance. So, it was to me a very pleasant amazement...

If you could turn back time...

A local radio station was interacting with their listeners on the topic. As I drove to work, the question kept me thinking, what would I do if I could turn back time ? Callers keep telling about things they would do differently, relationships they would nurture and mishaps they would avoid.

What would I do ? It just struck me that at this juncture, I would not change a thing. I have gone through a lot of pain, elation, frustration and joy. I have been slighted, hurt and have slight and hurt others too. God knows, those around me knows how my straight forwardness would sometimes strike like a blade through the softest point of the heart. In my defense, those were not put forth with malice. I am just being me and that means being practical to a fault. Come on, life is short, stop beating around the bush and get to the point. See.

That said, I feel that everything that happens, happened for a purpose. If it doesn't break you, it will make you stronger. Then again, perhaps I am of this opinion as I have just survived one of my regular tribulation. Getting out of that predicament was a harrowing experience. Yet as any predicaments, and there has been a lot, it humbles me and made me realise that no one is invincible nor are they immune to consequences.

The key, I think, is to learn to be thankful for what you have instead of pining for what could have been yours. Forget the "what ifs" and focus on the "now" instead...

Acceptance

There's only so much you can say or do to influence an event, a person or a situation. What most people fail to realise is the fact that once they have said or done to the best of their ability or know how, it is time to just sit back and let it roll. Accept whatever is the outcome, rejoice if its what you envisioned it to be or learn from it if it is not. This is acceptance.

Why ? Well, at this stage of my life, acceptance comes easier and I find it refreshing. Similarly, you can only care so much, love so much, after a point we all need to move on. In the end game its only you and god after all. I have also learned that the more you rely on people the more susceptible you are to being disappointed, to being hurt. You need to learn to look out for yourself. There will come a time when its just you and yourself. When everyone else is busy, when events seems to have exclude you, when time moves without you. And that will be the point when you need your own company.

Just don't go crazy over it OK.

Mak

Received a call this morning from my brother. Mak wants to know if I am coming over today. For the umpteenth time, Mak calls and asked if I can drop by for a bite. If I can then she will prepare something for me. And for the umpteenth time I am unable to come. I feel bad, really bad. Pity the poor old lady, pining for the company of a son who is so near yet so far. I now know how that feels but situation dictates that her heart be broken again.

I am at fault. Yes, and I will remedy this.

Tioman Snapshots II