Friday, October 23, 2009

Humpty dumpty...

Broken nose and bloodied. The front of my shirt is soaked in blood. It was a miracle that I manage to keep the car on the road as we continued the journey in silence. It was not the pain but the humiliation and shock at her reaction to the news. Backhanded by my wife. Not a reaction that I was hoping for from a demure and sweet lady who has been the mother to my kids for almost two decades. Perhaps I deserve it.

A couple of years ago, a series of events and decisions led me to take another as my second wife. Life felt complete. Then last year my second union was blessed with the arrival of a daughter. Thus begin the nagging little voice deep in me to reconcile and made the situation known to all parties concerned. What better way to break the news than in a car ? No one can leave until the matter is resolved. At least that's what I thought. Never did I imagine that I would be physically beaten to a bloodied end by my wife. Yes, she is a black belt instructor, but surely getting physical is not her trait. Never in all those years that we were together.

She did not even cry. Not a tear - which was what I was expecting. All she said was, get out of the house. I did, for fear that things would get physical again and also for fear that I might lose my restraint.

It has been six months now. From a life that felt complete, it now felt like hell. I no longer have a place to truly call home. My second family is way across the sea. Even going to my mom's is no consolation. Though she no longer say anything but the look she gave is enough to pierce through my heart.

Whatever should I do ?

Not my personal experience - a friend seeking advice. Of course I laughed, then sympathy followed by "ko yang carik pasal"...

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