The incessant splattering rain on his lanai brought Jim back to his thoughts as he reviews the weekend that will be ending in a few hours. It has been quiet. The kids cancelled their visit to him. Reason, the weather and rain will make it pointless as they will not be able to use the pool. Ahh, so it's the pool, not really to be with him then ? Jim smiled at that thought. The kids were just being practical, just like he does. He wouldn't know what to do if they were cooped up in the condo anyway. He is certainly not in the mood to drive anywhere as it is the school holidays and the highways will be jam packed, not to mention that no reservations has been made. Their family activities used to be out not in the house. The house is merely a place to rest and do the necessary. It's not that he doesn't miss them, he does, it's just that he needs time to adjust to his new life. He supposes his kids and ex-wife do too.
His plan to spend the weekend with the kids taking it easy in his condo, relaxing by the pool and sampling the nearby restaurants is busted. Yesterday and earlier today he just stayed in, watch TV, read a bit and review some work papers. Coffee and cigarettes became his faithful companion. Didn't get out of the building, did not even get in his car. Just lazing around immersed in empty thoughts. He was glad that it was not disrupted by the presence of the kids. Yet as the day is coming to a close accompanied by the rhythm of the falling rain, he suddenly misses and longed for their warmth and chatter. Especially the youngest, his princess and the middle one, his son. He could just imagine lounging with his princess on his lap and his son next to him in front of the TV before bed time. A ritual that he sadly acknowledges to be no more.
The eldest, being a teenager has her own life. He loves her but felt that it's best to provide guidance when necessary and let her make her own choices. His feelings for her is not as strong perhaps because the eldest was raised by his in-laws during those early years when he and his ex-wife were busy developing their careers and was travelling almost constantly. She never joins their daily ritual anyway as she does her girly things, her homework or her chatting in her room. Jim just couldn't understood whenever anyone says that you should love all your children equally and not to show any favouritism. How can you ? Even your parents you will love one more than the other.
For now, he could just imagine his princess asking his ex-wife about when daddy is coming home as she is wont to do whenever Jim went on one of his travels. He wished he could call and talk to her like he used too and humour her questions and hear her voice. But he dreads having to talk to his ex-wife for he is sure that it will be her who will pick up the phone. Nothing could be said now that will not be hurtful to either. Jim is just not in the mood to face that, not yet. For that he will endure the pain of missing his princess and prayed that she will still miss him tomorrow.