Saturday, November 25, 2006

Stabbed in the Back.

I will start todays rant by admitting that perhaps this incident is my fault. My fault for failing to be a good judge of character and my fault for believing and trusting too much. One of my principles have been this, if I were to help, offer assistance or do something for others, deep down in my heart I tell myself to never ask for anything in return. Why ? Because I believe in karma, what goes around comes around. I let god do the payback, if any. Another reason is that I have always felt that in some weird ways, though hard, my life have been blessed, so when opportunity arises, I strive to do good for others. This has got to change. From now onwards, I will ask for something in return and that request is PLEASE DON'T STAB ME IN THE BACK.

The person in question came into my circle of close friends. Friends with whom (I thought...) everything could be shared and discussed. Friends whom I thought should be protected and nurtured. Alas, I was wrong.

All this while I had been giving what I can. In this case, I provided oral and written recommendation so this person can get a new job after being asked to leave from the previous one. I place my reputation at stake for the sake of a friend. I did not ask for anything in return then, nor now.

All seems well and dandy. Untill a couple of years later, I was in a rut. I did not ask for money, I did not ask for time nor task to be done. What I merely asked for is an ear to hear my woes and to seek the opinion of a "close friend" in my hour of need. What I got instead was "you are not the person I used to know", "I am busy"...

WTF was that ? My request for an explanation was not entertained. I felt as if I was judged by this "close friend" without my charges ever being brought to my attention. I was down, and while down was further trampled by a person I assumed was a friend. It is definitely one of the worst feeling I ever experienced. If this person is an enemy or at least someone out of the circle I would have understood. My take is that since this person got the new better paying job, arrogance set in. Perhaps this person have also accrued new friends in the process and just can't make time for old ones like me.

I keep trying to understand and forgive. So far I have not been successful. I hope that this person does not cross my path again.

Anyway, life goes on. It just made me more wary and less trusting. Please don't get me wrong if I appeared aloof and disinterested, I have just been through a rough patch and the wound is not yet healed.

Photo by my daughter, conveys the mood I guess.

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